the difference between a dream and reality (is that you don't wake up)
by MissLauraKinney
Summary: After the fire at the academy, Hiro's life splits in two directions. One, a life where he and his brother are alive and safe. The other, where his brother died, and Hiro himself barely made it out. The problem is, with both sets of memories in his head, he's having a little trouble distinguishing which is real and which is just a dream.


A combination of the novels Lucid, and The In-Between, and that Gwenyth Paltrow movie where her life splits in two directions at the tube station.

* * *

><p><em>December 18, 2032<em>

It wasn't normal he told himself. People just don't feel this way. Not after something as simple as a dream. He tried to tell himself that the pounding he felt in his head was just a side-effect from the medicine he was on (heavy drugs prescribed by even heavier doctors, supposedly to treat his concussion, memory loss, and pain from the cuts), but it was really hard to do when his heart was clenched in terror at the memories of that night. If Tadashi were here he would hold him, snuggled tight against his older brother's chest, safe against deceitful memories and fake futures.

But Tadashi wasn't here. He was alone, and he had to come to terms with that. Aunt Cass had told him to weeks ago, before he was readmitted to the hospital, but he hadn't listened to her. He never listened to her, and she knew it. He only listened to Tadashi. Even when Tadashi said the exact same thing Aunt Cass did, Hiro just responded better to it from his hero. But he had to realize that with Tadashi gone, Aunt Cass was the only person who would bother trying to get through to him. And he didn't want to seem ungrateful. He just couldn't rid himself of the feeling that something wasn't right. Something was out of place. Something…He just had to figure out what.

X

_August 7__th__, 2033_

"So tell me again, Hiro. The first time you realized, and I mean really realized, that Tadashi was gone was?" Dr. Ramirez asked. Hiro sighed. "It was six months ago. We were standing in the kitchen, doing dishes or something," Hiro paused, trying to make it seem like he couldn't really remember the night very well, but the truth was, barely a day went by that he didn't wonder what would have happened if they hadn't turned the water on.

_Hiro looked right, then he looked left. He tiptoed across the foyer, silently praying to whatever gods existed above that Aunt Cass not see him. If she caught a glimpse of him looking like this…_

"_For god's sake, Hiro!" He whirled around to find Aunt Cass standing on the steps, arms crossed. "You're a mess! Get upstairs and clean yourself off. I can't believe you managed to make such a mess in only an hour. Grease and oil everywhere…Hair unbrushed….looks like he stuffed his finger into a light socket…Kapow!..." Aunt Cass crossed the hall, muttering to herself. It was such a common occurrence in the Hamada house that Hiro didn't even bat an eye. He ran upstairs to change._

_Tadashi was sprawled across his bed, like he nearly always was. Since the accident, Tadashi had been religiously tinkering with something Hiro wasn't allowed to see. He suspected it was just an addition to BayMax, but he wasn't certain enough to put money on it. Tadashi had certainly never been this secretive about anything school related before. He was different, though. Hiro quickly put this thought out of his mind. Thinking about it made it real. So obviously not thinking about it made it not real, right?_

"_Hiro? Weren't you supposed to be cleaning up after dinner?" Hiro gave him a sheepish grin. "I was, but I kinda got distracted, and…" Tadashi raised an eyebrow. Hiro glared. He hated it when Tadashi did that, and he knew it! If Hiro was honest with himself it was because Tadashi could do it and he couldn't, but Hiro was content to lie his ass off to himself about it. _

"_Yeah, yeah. I know how it is with you. Change your shirt and I'll help you with it." Tadashi closed his book and unfolded his long legs from their crossed position. "Meet you downstairs." Hiro glanced down at his shirt. Why did he need to change? There was nothing wrong with his—ohhhh, the big orange oil stain in the middle of it. He threw the shirt off. Didn't matter. If he showed Tadashi he was listening it would be easier to convince the older boy to do all of the work!_

_Hiro jumped down the last two stairs, landing at the bottom with a loud clunk. Tadashi turned around with an unamused expression. Hiro shrugged his shoulders. Tadashi just turned away and ran a hand through his recently buzzed short hair. "Are you going to stand there, or do your work?" Hiro pouted, but seeing no reason to resist, grabbed the last of the plates off the table and took them over to the sink where Tadashi was scrapping and rinsing food into the disposal. "Can I ask you something?" Tadashi gave him a sideways glance. "Is it about my hair?"_

"_No." Tadashi raised his eyebrows, both this time. "No, really! It isn't!" Tadashi sighed. "Fine. What's up?"_

"_Well, you've been really busy lately,"_

"_Yeah. Schools hard. I missed a bunch last semester, so I have to work harder to keep up." Tadashi's carefully calm tone made it very clear that the conversation was over, but Hiro had never been very good at picking up subtle clues. Or clues that hit him in the face like a ton of bricks, but that's and issue for another day. "Yeah, but you've been __**really**__ busy. You leave early in the morning and come home even earlier the next day sometimes, and when I try to spend time with you you just push me—"_

"_Listen, Hiro. I just need some space, okay? A lot happened over the last few weeks, and I need some time to process the. Can you back off?" The last part sounded a little like a threat, but Hiro didn't think Tadashi was capable of being violent with him. "Can I ask you one last thing?" Tadashi didn't answer, so Hiro asked. "Do you hate me?" Tadashi turned around to look at him, shock written all over his face. "__**Of course **__I don't hate you! How you could think something like that—Hiro, have I __**ever**__ acted like I didn't care about you, like I didn't love you?"_

_Hiro shook his head no. "So where did you get that idea?" Hiro shrugged again, reluctant to tell Tadashi the real reason he was asking all these questions. Tadashi opened his mouth to say something else, but whatever it was was cut off by the sound of a wave crashing onto the beach—or in this case, a hardwood floor. The sink was overflowing. "Shit!" Tadashi cursed, hopping around on bare feet, trying to avoid the scalding water. Hiro rushed over to shut the faucet off. _

"_Thanks, kiddo. Wasn't expecting that. Can we finish that talk later? I kind of have a big mess to clean up right now," But Hiro wasn't listening. He was too busy staring at the spicket with his mouth open. "Hiro? What's wrong?"_

"_Umm, Tadashi? When did we get the sink fixed?" Tadashi didn't look over at him, busy mopping up the water with a dishtowel. There was so much water on the floor, though, it was more like pushing the water around with a dishtowel. "I don't know, last week, maybe?"_

_Hiro stood still, watching his older brother sitting on the kitchen floor. "I thought you were going to fix it?"_

"_I got busy, Aunt Cass must have hired somebody," He shrugged, like it was no big deal. But to Hiro it was a very big deal. "Tadashi," He began, his voice coming out a little shaky this time. "What did you call me a minute ago?"_

"_Uh, Hiro?"_

"_No, before that,"_

"_Kiddo?"_

"_Yeah, that."_

"_What's wrong? I can't call you kiddo anymore? I thought you loved that nickname?" Hiro stared at his brother, or whoever was sitting in his house. Because Tadashi Hamada had never once called him kiddo. And that wasn't the only strange thing about the conversation they had just had._

X

_December 17th, 2032_

Hiro opened his eyes to see Aunt Cass worried face peering down at him, tears visible in her eyes. "Aunt Cass," He croaked. "What's wrong?"

"Hiro, do you know where you are right now?" Hiro shook his head. Pain exploded inside his skull, and he pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes, trying to stop the shooting ache. "You're in the hospital, Hiro, we've been worried sick!" Before Hiro could ask who 'We' was, Aunt Cass stepped aside to reveal Tadashi's lab-mates. The very people Hiro had put himself in the hospital to avoid. They stared at him with anxious faces, waiting for him to tell them he was okay. But he wasn't sure he was anymore.


End file.
